A story that needs a read | Star Frontiers

I am taking a class this semester that requires me to write. I have written a lot about my Army career in classes and this time around I wanted to go a different route. The teacher is open to fiction as our concepts to draw from. I wrote a story, basically the beginning of Volturnus as my first rough draft. My group liked it and says "whats next" but the story doesn't accomplish the criteria of the assignment. Character development. I wrote a new one, changing a lot of details. Having just gotten back into SF after a while I draw from the universe. If anyone would mind giving this a quick read, as quick as 6 pages may be. Feedback, suggestions, anything. I can take criticism, I crave it.

My first thoughts
weren’t really on the job I had to do, it was more on the money I would make
doing it. I had debts to pay off, I had people to get off my back, and I had a
life to live. There was so much for me to do still, and if I didn’t get this
most recent loan off my back I might be in for more than I care for. This new
job bodes well for me though, a simple retrieval mission and the support of a
team.<o:p></o:p>

Well, I was more
supporting the team. Captain Magnus was in charge, Star Law Ranger extraordinaire.
The tall, salt and pepper haired, mustachioed man was the very definition of
United Planetary Federation presence in space. The UPF was law and order in the
Frontier. Mega-Corporations are the movers and shakers of the Frontier, and
they pay the bills. So I work for the corps, unlike my new boss who reports to
the never ending list of elected officials. <o:p></o:p>

“Take notice, this
isn’t a pleasure cruise. We are entering Rim space and we are not sure what to
expect when we enter the systems,” he said the words, but I knew he knew we
knew, that he knows what is on the other end of our journey. This was more a
show of might, authority, Magnus asserting his alpha status if you will, and
none of the rest of us would argue with that. “You have been assigned bunks,
see Sergeant Kri’lki to my left for those assignments.” He extended his arm to
his left towards the vrusk soldier.<o:p></o:p>

Vrusk, are meter
tall, eight legged and two armed, ovoviviparous intelligent, sentient insects.
They are known for their keen sense of business, their universities are known
for churning out board members suited for the corps. It was believed the vrusks
not in a business profession are from bad egg sacks. I don’t personally care
for the giant bugs, creepy things that they are. They can even click out human
language, even though they rely heavily on their hand and antennae movement. It
was my plan to get my bunk assignment and avoid this sergeant as much as
possible for the duration.<o:p></o:p>

The starship we
were aboard was an old survey and exploration cruiser, it was probably a few
decades older than myself. The interior lighting was dimming to a low
brightness that almost hurt the eyes, straining down corridors. The center of
the ship was the central lift, two side by side open elevators and a ladder
well, for incase of power loss. The lift dropped down two levels to the living
quarters, from the common level above. <o:p></o:p>

The lower crew
quarters, our quarters, were even less light than the above decks. Below the crew deck was the engineering bays,
the low humming of the engines could be felt through the flooring. The inertia
of space travel creates a force of gravity, holding us down to the deck while
we move. Upon deceleration, if everything is not stored properly things will
float from the zero gravity of space, or the reverse affects should something
negative arise.<o:p></o:p>

Stepping off the
lift I saw some of my other team mates, I wondered which would come in handy
most to make this stay comfortable. I notice a few females during the briefing,
but there were plenty of military on board for them to gander at. Sitting down
at the kitchen bar I took a look around the room. A few yazirians, wing like
flaps under their arms for gliding, they are more an evolved flying squirrel
than the monkeys they get their name for. They smell. All I can say about
yazirians is that they smell horrible. I was sure they two would be the same.<o:p></o:p>

A trio of
dralasites, the shape changing blob people that are known for their infatuation
with bad jokes. They would be the best bet to get anything done that I don’t
want to do. By the look of their uniforms two of them fix robots and the other
computers, but there was no way to know which of their three genders they were.
I don’t mind dralasites so much, they are easy to get along with and they make
for good conversation.<o:p></o:p>

Medical personnel
have always been my favorites. There is always someone willing to help out a
friend in need, or be a friend in need of helping out. I always like to help my
friends. Two female medics, each wearing the flight medical officer suits they
can be clearly identified by, stood together discussing something or other with
Captain Magnus’s lieutenant. The lieutenant was a handsome young human man, but
man wouldn’t be the right word. This boy couldn’t grow a beard to save his
life.<o:p></o:p>

My beard is
amazing, fully covering my face like a man’s beard should. Captain Magnus and
his mustache, looks as though it was issued by Star Law. I would be able to
talk the ladies up after the lieutenant finished boring them. I waited until he
departed.<o:p></o:p>

“Ladies, hello
hello. Let me introduce myself, I am your environmental science officer for
this expedition. My name is,” I was cut off mid bow by a finger to my lips.<o:p></o:p>

“Save it Otto, we know
who you are.” The first medic said to me, pressing her finger firmly to my
lips, she bent eye level to me in my mid bow, “not interested.”<o:p></o:p>

The two of them
walked passed me and disappeared together down a corridor. I was in love.<o:p></o:p>

<o:p> </o:p>

I found my bunk and
shortly thereafter found some comfort in sleep. It would be days before we got
anywhere close to our destination. Maybe I would be able to sleep the entire
trip? I don’t think anyone would be needing an environmental science office in
the depths of space. There was no botanical bays on board, and the air recycle
system was not organic based. I could stay in my bunk and no one would notice.<o:p></o:p>

I was wrong.
Unknown hours had passed before I was disturbed. Opening my eyes, expecting to
see the dull gray ceiling of my bunk. Instead I saw the gold, sectional eyes of
the vrusk sergeant. I gasped and startled back in my sheets.<o:p></o:p>

“You are wanted on
the bridge,” he said through his translating device strapped to his uniforms
lapel. “Captain Magnus wants you immediately.”<o:p></o:p>

I groaned, sat up
in my bunk and rubbed my eyes. I tried to avoid looking at…him? Her? I had no
idea what it was. I could feel its eyes staring at me as I moved about my cabin
area getting dressed. Man, I hate bugs.<o:p></o:p>

We made our way to
the central lifts, going all the way to the top of the ship. The bridge was an
amazing sight, which I almost couldn’t bare witness to because it was so
bright. The lighting in the bridge area was amazing. A large circular room,
windows all around, save for the command staff area directly to the front of
the central lift. The ship’s captain, some corp paid lakey, stood with Captain
Magnus looking down at star charts with a couple other officers. <o:p></o:p>

Every direction I
looked was a uniform at a console doing something I couldn’t understand. When I
looked out the bridge windows I was lost in amazement. Normally I would expect
to see stars, but there was no stars. We had entered the Void, the slipstream
faster than light travel. I had never had access to viewports on lower decks
during any of my previous missions, this was the first time I saw the darkness
of nothing. It made me dizzy. I lost feeling in my legs.<o:p></o:p>

The blur of
darkness faded and I was regaining my senses. A circle of faces surrounded me,
the first to come into focus shook me back. The vrusk, staring straight into my
face. Was that, reassurance 
 in it’s face? Was it concerned for me?<o:p></o:p>

Captain Magnus
helped me to my feet. The soft smell of his cologne was immediately apparent. I
smiled to myself, he must use it to ward off the yazirian smell, I wasn’t the
only one. <o:p></o:p>

“Otto, you are the
environmentalist. I need you to decide where we will set down on the moon’s
surface,” he pressed a few buttons on the table display before us. A map of the
surface was shown. I looked over the entire area, taking advantage of the
display controls I was able to search for a suitable area.<o:p></o:p>

A small stretch of
clearings between forests looked suitable enough, but Captain Magnus said that
wouldn’t suit our needs. He redirected me towards a more mountainous region,
his instructions and basically determination had me settling on a plateau area,
far from any beaches, rivers, or other comfortable climate spots. Of course, he
knew more than me and of course he made sure to not let me know anything more
than his hand guides everything, and I make no real choices. Fine by me.<o:p></o:p>

I departed the
bridge quickly, averting my eyes from the exterior Void. It was no wonder
spacers were prone to alcoholism, anyone with that much stress needs some sort
of an outlet. Mine was gambling, I was always in a position to play a game of
chance during some down time. Long expeditions, however, in the past have ended
up with my entire earnings gone before I even received a paycheck. I wasn’t always
lucky.<o:p></o:p>

Arriving on the
common area deck my nose was in the air. I smelled gambling, and of course
there were off duty crew, and some team members, playing a friendly game of
chance. For wagers. I joined in eagerly. <o:p></o:p>

Hours passed and
players trickled out. It was down to just two of us. Our wagers were as high as
we could go, trying to out with and out match one another. Finally we called a
draw, the yazirian female was a worthy gambling adversary. She was one of the
ships pilots, and listening to her stories while gambling with her I grew some
respect. Not only for her, but her race.<o:p></o:p>

She had told a
story of their exodus from their home world, a few tales of her clan, and about
how the yazirian church was dedicated towards its cause and that she was an
outcast from her own kind because she chose UPF instead of the church. I also
noticed how little she smelled. She actually smelled more like alcohol at the
end of the evening, none more than myself.<o:p></o:p>

I sauntered back
to my bunk with my winnings, federation credits that I could use for gambling
later on our trip. Tucking them safely away in my belongings, I was asleep
before I hit the bunk. The lulling hum of the engines was almost soothing.<o:p></o:p>

Pinned

Off

Locked

Off

Forum category

Open Discussion