Its like Umox- for fun and profit<br /><br /><font size="4"><b>The Ferrengi Rules of Acquisition</b></font><br /><br /><ol type="1"><li value="1"> Once you have their money ... never give it back.
</li><li value="3"> Never pay more for an acquisition than you have to.
</li><li value="6"> Never allow family to stand in the way of opportunity.
</li><li value="6"> A man is only worth the sum of his possessions. <i>(From Enterprise, episode "Acquisition"; sloppy script-writing, as rule 6 (see above) was already given in DS9)</i>
</li><li value="7"> Keep your ears open.
</li><li value="8"> Small print leads to large risk.
</li><li value="9"> Opportunity plus instinct equals profit.
</li><li value="10"> Greed is eternal.
</li><li value="13"> Anything worth doing is worth doing for money.
</li><li value="16"> A deal is a deal ... until a better one comes along.
</li><li value="17"> A contract is a contract is a contract (but only between Ferengi).
</li><li value="18"> A Ferengi without profit is no Ferengi at all.
</li><li value="19"> Satisfaction is not guaranteed.
</li><li value="21"> Never place friendship above profit.
</li><li value="22"> A wise man can hear profit in the wind.
</li><li value="23"> Nothing is more important than your health--except for your money.
</li><li value="27"> There's nothing more dangerous than an honest businessman.
</li><li value="31"> Never make fun of a Ferengi's mother ... insult something he cares about instead.
</li><li value="33"> It never hurts to suck up to the boss.
</li><li value="34"> Peace is good for business.
</li><li value="35"> War is good for business.
</li><li value="40"> She can touch your lobes but never your latinum.
</li><li value="41"> Profit is its own reward.
</li><li value="44"> Never confuse wisdom with luck.
</li><li value="45"> Expand, or die.
</li><li value="47"> Don't trust a man wearing a better suit than your own.
</li><li value="48"> The bigger the smile, the sharper the knife.
</li><li value="52"> Never ask when you can take.
</li><li value="57"> Good customers are as rare as latinum -- treasure them.
</li><li value="58"> There is no substitute for success.
</li><li value="59"> Free advice is seldom cheap.
</li><li value="60"> Keep your lies consistent.
</li><li value="62"> The riskier the road, the greater the profit.
</li><li value="65"> Win or lose, there's always Hyperian beetle snuff.
</li><li value="75"> Home is where the heart is ... but the stars are made of latinum.
</li><li value="76"> Every once in a while, declare peace. It confuses the hell out of your enemies.
</li><li value="79"> Beware of the Vulcan greed for knowledge.
</li><li value="82"> The flimsier the product, the higher the price.
</li><li value="85"> Never let the competition know what you're thinking.
</li><li value="89"> Ask not what your profits can do for you, but what you can do for your profits.
</li><li value="94"> Females and finances don't mix.
</li><li value="97"> Enough ... is never enough.
</li><li value="99"> Trust is the biggest liability of all.
</li><li value="102"> Nature decays, but latinum lasts forever.
</li><li value="103"> Sleep can interfere with profit. <i>(DS9 season 2, episode 7 - "Rules of Acquisition")</i>
</li><li value="104"> Faith moves mountains ... of inventory.
</li><li value="106"> There is no honour in poverty.
</li><li value="109"> Dignity and an empty sack is worth the sack.
</li><li value="111"> Treat people in your debt like family ... exploit them.
</li><li value="112"> Never have sex with the boss's sister.
</li><li value="113"> Always have sex with the boss.
</li><li value="117"> You can't free a fish from water.
</li><li value="121"> Everything is for sale, even friendship.
</li><li value="123"> Even a blind man can recognize the glow of latinum.
</li><li value="139"> Wives serve, brothers inherit.
</li><li value="141"> Only fools pay retail.
</li><li value="144"> There's nothing wrong with charity ... as long as it winds up in your pocket.
</li><li value="162"> Even in the worst of times someone turns a profit.
</li><li value="177"> Know your enemies ... but do business with them always.
</li><li value="181"> Not even dishonesty can tarnish the shine of profit.
</li><li value="189"> Let others keep their reputation. You keep their money.
</li><li value="192"> Never cheat a Klingon ... unless you're sure you can get away with it.
</li><li value="194"> It's always good business to know about new customers before they walk in the door.
</li><li value="202"> The justification for profit is profit.
</li><li value="203"> New customers are like razortoothed grubworms. They can be succulent, but sometimes they can bite back.
</li><li value="211"> Employees are rungs on the ladder of success. Don't hesitate to step on them.
</li><li value="214"> Never begin a negotiation on an empty stomach.
</li><li value="218"> Always know what you're buying.
</li><li value="223"> Beware the man who doesn't make time for <i>oo-mox</i>.
</li><li value="229"> Latinum lasts longer than lust.
</li><li value="236"> You can't buy fate.
</li><li value="239"> Never be afraid to mislabel a product.
</li><li value="242"> More is good ... all is better.
</li><li value="255"> A wife is a luxury ... a smart accountant is a necessity.
</li><li value="261"> A wealthy man can afford anything except a conscience.
</li><li value="263"> Never allow doubt to tarnish your love of latinum.
</li><li value="266"> When in doubt, lie.
</li><li value="284"> Deep down everyone's a Ferengi.
</li><li value="285"> No good deed ever goes unpunished.
</li><li value="286"> <i>[Quark's rule]</i> When Morn leaves, it's all over.
</li></ol><br />
- Log in to post comments