Dept Homelawn Security, New color code system:

Let me just say that this came from a friend: Per Department of Homeland Security Internal
Memorandum 11293089666this is the replacement for the color code system
formerly used for terror alerts. An explanation for each alert stage
is below. <img src="/files/u4436/DHSALERT_jgflaCODES.jpg" width="480" height="607" /> Republican Warning Level:
Suspect(s) capable of random acts in accordance with the new order but
usually object to approved new order tax policies. Dangerous when
cornered. 100% audit by all revenue authorities when possible. Spade or
neuter upon detection. 
Good Ole Boy Warning Level: Suspect(s) capable of
racism via accent, inflection, or state of residence. Usually a gun
owner and Baptist. Avoid direct contact and refer any information to
SPLC or DHS authorities if spotted in groups of more than four or
playing checkers while wearing a holster. 
Tea Party Warning Level: Suspect(s) capable of extreme
violence up to and including signage, voting against the party line,
independent thought, and promotion of radical documents called the
Declaration of Independence and/or “The Constitution.” Approach with
caution as almost impossible to reason with. Action is usually imminent
when this warning level is achieved. 
Ron Paul Warning Level: Suspect(s) capable of extreme
acts against the Federal Reserve, established financial system norms,
and both political parties. Opposition to the new order program could
result in long rambling speeches which could create confusion among
political elites causing mass confusion and disorder. Isolate and
neutralize with lobbyists immediately when warning level declared. 
Beck Listener Warning Level: Suspected activity which
encompasses, supports and appears during other warning levels. Known to
attack with screams and tears. If this level is declared, books are
imminent along with videos, movie theater bookings, and mass promotion
unseen since Moses came down from the mountain. If this level is
declared all government and private organizations and officials are to
be mobilized to neutralize the threat.

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