I swear, this is almost worthy of my Dudeman Files...<br /><br /><br /><p><a target="_blank" href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/10/24/edwin-frys-poodle-buddy-t_n_77… color="#990000">http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/10/24/edwin-frys-poodle-buddy-t_n_77… color="#0000ff"><br /><br /><font color="#000000">[quote]</font><em> <font color="#000000">"HYDRO, Okla. — An elderly Oklahoma man landed himself in jail after using bolt cutters to break his prized pooch from the pound.<br /></font></em></font></p><p><font color="#0000ff"><em><font color="#000000">Instead of paying a $100 fine for not having his poodle on a leash, 73-year-old Edwin Fry of Hydro decided to bust Buddy Tough out. Authorities say</font> <strong><font color="#ff0000">Fry drove his lawnmower to the city pound</font></strong> <font color="#000000">Oct. 13 and broke into the cage with bolt cutters. The pair were intercepted by police."</font> </em></font><font color="#000000">[/quote]</font></p><br /><p>Words for the wise: if you <em>ever</em> feel the need to commit a crime and there's even the slimmest possibility that police may end up chasing you, make sure you get the most agile high performance escape vehicle possible.</p><p><br />And what better vehicle is out there than an 11-horse Briggs & Stratton powered LAWN MOWER.</p><p><br />Snick through the gears and you'll quickly hit the vehicle's maximum speed of <strong>NINE</strong> miles per hour! You'll <em>never</em> have to worry about losing control in the sweepers either, this baby corners like it's on rails. Hell, you won't even have to downshift, you can take hairpin turns at top speed without ever letting go of the throttle. What other vehicle can stake such a claim?</p><p><br />You will put O.J. Simpson's white Ford Bronco to shame with this beast. Five hours, what a doorknob...this baby'll do that on half a gallon of gas!</p><p><br />What would you pay now? But wait, there's MORE!!!</p><p><br />Hit the quick release lever and drop the grass catcher. The sudden weight loss will INSTANTLY catapult you to a neck-breaking, arm-stiffening, gut-wrenching, mind-boggling <strong>9<u><font color="#ff0000">½</font></u> miles per hour</strong>!!!</p><p><br />Endorsed by wheelmen across the world, you'll be making Jason Statham's "Transporter" look like an ameteur in no time at all.</p><p><br />Don't wait, get yours today!!!</p>
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