<span style="font-weight: bold">You Might be a Redneck Jedi if... </span><br /><br />Your Jedi robe is a camouflage color. <br /><br />You have ever used your lightsaber to open a bottle of Jack Daniel's. <br /><br />You think the best use of your lightsaber is picking your teeth. <br /><br />At least one wing of your X-Wing is Bondo colored. <br /><br />There is a blaster rack in the back of your landspeeder. <br /><br />You have bantha horns on the front of your landspeeder. <br /><br />You can easily describe the taste of an Ewok without using the word "chicken". <br /><br />You can find no grammatical errors in the way Yoda talks. <br /><br />You think that Stormtroopers are just KKK members with really good sheets. <br /><br />A peaceful meditation session is one without gas. <br /><br />You can levitate yourself using a force from within, but not THE force. <br /><br />Your master ever said, "My finger you will pull..hmmm?" <br /><br />You have ever had an X-wing up on blocks in your yard. <br /><br />You ever lost a hand during a light-saber fight because you had to spit. <br /><br />The worst part of spending time on Dagobah is the dadgum skeeters. <br /><br />Wookies are offended by your B.O. <br /><br />You have ever used the force to get yourself another beer so you didn't have to wait for a commercial. <br /><br />You have ever used the force in conjunction with fishing or bowling. <br /><br />You have ever used a lightsaber to clean fish or open a non-twist-off bottle of beer. <br /><br />Your father has ever said to you, "Shoot, son come on over to the dark side, it'll be a hoot." <br /><br />You have ever had your R-2 unit use its electro-shock thingy to get the barbecue grill to light. <br /><br />The moonshine still you built on Endor is hidden so well even the Ewoks can't find it. <br /><br />You have a stuffed womp rat anywhere in your home. <br /><br />You think the symbol for the Rebel Alliance should be the Confederate flag. <br /><br />More than half the droids you own don't function. <br /><br />The number of blasters you own exceeds your I.Q. <br /><br />You wonder why Luke and Leia gave up on getting married. <br /><br />You used a carbon-freezing chamber to mount the Wampa you shot while on vacation on Hoth. <br /><br />Your moonshine is made on a real moon. <br /><br />You don't like wearing a Jedi robe because it prevents access to the dip stored in your back pocket. <br /><br />Sandpeople back down from your mama. <br /><br />You've ever used Jedi mind control to talk your way out of a speeding ticket or DUI. <br /><br />You've ever strangled someone with the force because they laughed at your accent. <br /><br />You built an outhouse over the Sarlaac. <br /><br />You've ever argued with a Jawa over scavenging rights to a broken droid. <br /><br />A Wookie has ever told you that you need to shave. <br /><br />You have ever wrecked a landspeeder while trying to light a cigarette with your lightsaber. <br /><br />You don't think the Ewoks are primitive. <br /><br />You think an AT-AT looks like a giant cow. <br /><br />You don't think Jabba's Gammorean Guards have a hygiene problem. <br /><br />The Rancor monster refused to eat you. <br /><br />You consider your lightsaber the ultimate bug zapper. <br /><br />You discover that your greatest enemy is, in fact, your father. And your uncle. And your brother... <br /><br />If you have a home that is mobile and ten landspeeders that aren't <br /><br />When you consider a housewarming party consists of removing the repulsor lifts off your home. <br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold">Some quotes overheard from the mouths of Redneck Jedi:</span> <br /><br />"Hey boy...ya wanna go AT-AT tipping?" <br /><br />"Just why does Lando call it the fastest <span style="font-style: italic">hunk o' junk</span> in the galaxy?" <br /><br />"Jawas are below the Tusken Raiders on the food chain, and just above my family." <br /><br />"Womp Rats are pretty good once ya get all the buckshot outa them. Goes great with Jawa Juice." <br /><br />"My prized possession is an autographed Sebulba T-Shirt I got from the Pod Races at Malistaire. That good ol' boy sure knows how to get screwy with them pods!" <br /><br />"Just finished my custom landspeeder, gots me a bright orange paint job and a Rebel Insignia on the hood, slapped a pair of 01's on the sides and dubbed 'er the <span style="font-style: italic">General Dodonna</span>." <br /><br />"Man I wish I knew a little sumthin about that Force Lightning stuff. My R2 unit's down an' so's my light saber, an' I can't get the charcoal grill lit!" <br /><br />"Shoot, them Death Stars ain't nuthin'. You ain't tasted my wife's cookin' yet." <br /><br />"Speakin' of my wife's cookin', we don't need no X-Wings. Just gimme my light saber and a heapin' helpin' of her beef stew, and I can make 0.5 past lightspeed with my own exhaust." <br /><br />"This is Jedi Knight Boscoe T. Nobrain, just saw them TIE boys and we're in HOT pursuit! Let's go get 'em Trash, gyuh gyuh gyuuuuuhhh!"
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